Sunday, October 23, 2005
admit me to woodbridge please....
one moment i was jumping ard happily...the other moment, i'm sitting down quietly daydreaming...and next, smiling to myself full of regrets...then starts mumbling in a language no one understands not even myself... even communicating to the wall(it's a one sided communication therefore 'to' and not 'with').
The inabiltity to understand my own thinking or myself at times,puts me down... The failure to carry out my thoughts weakened my belief..
Remember i was on leave yday? Ended up at tpy central...the place i grew up...bought a take-away soya bean drink and walked along the stretch of shophouses... "mobile" people watch...
the uniform i used to wear, the hanging out at tpy central aft sch, the kindergarten i went and memories of my first job in that church, the playground my cousins and i played at, the straight path i used to run to ah ma's house, the times i fed stray cats, the best ice cream i've ever eaten from the ah pek, library i went everyday back then, the cake shop i would go to to buy kaya waffle, my fav dumpling noodles, the restaurant i worked for only 2 weeks, the air i used to breathe everyday, the frightful incident when i had ran from interchange back ah ma's house....so much so much...neverending...
enabling yourself to slow down feels great...suddenly u hear ur heart beat, realises you're breathing, witness the fast pace of living of everyone else..
i wish i could relive those days~ i wish i hadn't inisist on something, i wish i had gone early childhood...i wish i didn't work....i rather not be as happy back then then i would be happier now...i wish i had changed decisions i'd made to change the outcome now..
sadly, i can't turn back time....no one can either.... The sun still rise and set...the clock never gonna stop ticking.. life goes on still... =]
posted @ Sunday, October 23, 2005
