Sunday, February 27, 2005
Was at Andrew Uncle's house...The last time he saw me, he had already said i've been stressing myself too much. And today his son who's also his disciple sat down and talk with me.. He's also very stressful when he sees me cos my mind is full of worries and questions.
Life is abt choice and decisions we make. This choice will then lead to another path in ur future. Not everything goes smoothly as planned. U can map out every single path but it can turn out not the way you want. Wouldnt that mean that you had wasted ur time planning in the past?
Life is short, learn to enjoy. I'm not enjoying mine recently. Gets stressed up, worries over, thinking too much, too afraid of the consequences over many many stuffs. He said i'm being too rational at times, always thinking of what one decision and lead to. I need to learn to let go a lil and follow my heart, just my heart. There's always solution to every problem but running away isn't one. My health is affected..especially stomach area.Ya my gastrics. He said if i continue eating at irregular hours, my gastrics is gonna get worse. In the end, it's still my choice if i wanna listen to him or continue thinking too much.
i was having a tough fight with the water in my eyes. Finally, i surrended. I broke down in front of him, in front of my parents and brother. Didn't like to cry in front of others but i just couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Seriously broke down and cried my heart out. No one has seen me in that state before, not even my mum. But they have-today. The loud, crazy, irritating,happy girl suddenly turned so vulnerable. My mind was thinking and makin the words korkor said into sense. It's good to cry out once in awhile. I felt realli realli soooo much better aft that =] Sort it all out. Things are clearer to me now. Afterall, worrying and anticipating doesn't solve any problem.
I WILL NOT WORRY ABT SIP. EVEN IF I CANT SECURE A PLACE MYSELF,THE SCHOOL WILL. EVEN IF IT'S BAD, IT'S ONLY 6MONTHS!!
Just now, Monika smsed me! Telling me it's been sometime since she last contact me and not wish to distant. She thought abt me and missed me alot =] Updated me abt her life and her attending her first french class this week! Girl, time and distant may pull us apart, but in my heart, you're still the dearest friend i've ever had =)
Ya i cried again upon seeing her sms. I cry real easily nowadays. Maybe cause i'm tired. No worries, Tina will be fine. Nono Tina's already fine and back to herself now! =)))
posted @ Sunday, February 27, 2005
